


Not Like This

by notyouranswer (gorgeouschaos)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Temporary Character Death, Episode: s03e11 Mystery Spot, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:28:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24516154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorgeouschaos/pseuds/notyouranswer
Summary: Sam’s known Dean was going to die young, hard, and bloody for his entire life. But with his dying brother in his arms, somehow the only thing he can think to say is "not like this".
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Not Like This

**Author's Note:**

> Because Sam's phrasing always made me wonder.  
> Thanks for reading, hope you like it, and I love feedback! :)

Sam has known as long as he can remember that Dean was going to die. 

As a kid, it was just a fact to never be mentioned, like the fact that he was scared or the fact that he didn’t remember his mother. As a teenager, it was a fact to be railed and rebelled against, like the fact that his father didn’t care or the fact that he was always going to be a hunter. 

Sam’s known Dean was going to die young, hard, and bloody for his entire life. But with his dying brother in his arms, somehow the only thing he can think to say is _not like this_.

Sam has had moments where he’s sure his brother is dead. Nearly every hunt, it seems, Dean takes a risk or hit that Sam doubts he can survive, but Dean keeps proving Sam wrong. Sam was wrong when Dean was fifteen and bleeding out on cheap hotel sheets, and he was wrong when Dean was twenty-five and bleeding out on the Impala’s seats, and Sam has to be wrong now, because _not like this_.

Sam’s always known Dean was going to die young, hard, and bloody. He’s even made his peace with that fact, more or less. He knows every hunt they take is a risk; he knows even his seemingly-invincible brother can’t save himself when he’s too busy saving everyone else. 

Sam’s pictured Dean’s death a thousand times. But he’s never pictured it like this, never imagined Dean bleeding out on the dusty floor, shot like a common criminal, like he hasn’t faced down every nightmare on the planet and survived. 

Young, hard, and bloody, sure, but Sam’s never pictured Dean dying _ordinary_.

His brother dies in his arms and all Sam can think is _not like this_. 

One thing Sam has always pictured is accurate, though-- he kills Dean’s killer. 

(Sam goes to sleep in a jail cell, wakes up in a motel bed, and his own private Hell begins. Somehow the worst part is that he never quite manages to stop thinking _not like this._ )


End file.
